Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize