12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
