So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
