it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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