You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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