i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
