too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
