I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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