Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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