Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
