i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize