He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
