There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
