I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
