i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
