im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize