did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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