The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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