So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
