is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
