thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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