Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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