What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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