I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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