FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
