I want to walk on stilts...naked
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
