What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize