allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
