If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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