Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
