i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
