Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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