hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
