He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
