even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
