I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
