I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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