I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
