I must be too annoying 4 u.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
