I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
