So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
