yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
