How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
