Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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