It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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