I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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