i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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