There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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