That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize