So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
