I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
