suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
