he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
