I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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