no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
