Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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