Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
