the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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