Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We have started to decorate penises.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize