Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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