I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
