Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
