I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize